Wow, it's been a while. . .

So, it has been quite a while since I last updated.  Sorry about that.  Life happened.  I was finishing up the semester, and then my computer decided to spazz on me, so I was dealing with those issues.  I finally got the issues fixed and mere hours after I had, my computer blew up, almost literally.  
There was a huge storm here and I guess there was a major power surge.  It fried my computer and my external hard drive where I had everything backed up.  So, I was computer-less for 2 days.
I bought a new computer from the nice electronics store employee.  He is so sweet!  I got free gifts and a major discount on my computer.  Sometimes it is good being the cute foreign girl!
To continue with the positive updates, I had a nice long chat with my friend the other day.  We talked out a lot of the issues we have been having with each other recently, so things are going much better with her now.
I gained a little weight recently, which made me less than pleased, but I seem to be losing it just as quickly, which is good.
I am on summer vacation and loving it.  No having to get up really early after a horrible night of barely sleeping and going to teach all day.  It is nice.  My friend and I are planning a trip to the beach in a week and a half, which I am excited about.  I love the beach!
Hopefully the weather will be better by then.  It has been raining a lot here recently.  Sadly, there has been flooding in Seoul and mudslides in Seoul and Chuncheon, which have killed and injured a number of people.  My heart goes out to all of them.
Well, I think that is it for now.  If anything else fun happens, I will update soon!

Failure. . .

Do you ever have days when you wonder if life is worth it?  I have been feeling that way lately.  I look at my life and wonder what I am doing with myself.
My time in Korea is fast approaching an end.  My contract is up in about six months and I have no idea what I want to do with myself when it is over.  I am really close to getting my bachelor's degree, so I know I want to get that, but I don't know where I want to get it.  I don't want to go back to the university I was at before, but I don't know where I want to go.  
That is problem number one.  Problem number two?  I don't know what I want to do with my life, even after I get my degree.
Due to recent events I have had to change what I had planned.  Things have changed, but now I don't know what to do.
All of this is making me feel like it isn't worth it.  I don't know what I want to do and I can't seem to find the motivation to figure it out.  There are so many things I WANT to do, but I never get around to doing them.  I feel like such a failure at life.
I want someone to come along and tell me what to do with my life, but that isn't going to happen.
A part of me wants to get married and have my husband make decisions for me. Unfortunately, I would need a man in my life for that to even be a possibility.  I have no boyfriend and no prospects, which has a tendency to depress me.  I know that I am not ready for a serious relationship right now, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it.
I think that is part of why I feel like a failure.  I don't have a career and I don't have a husband.  It has been pounded into my head that I should be married with children by now, but since I am not, I should have a career.  I have neither.  
I look at my life and I feel like I have nothing.  If I were to look in a mirror right now, (which I won't) all I would see would be a fat, ugly, useless, pathetic girl who fails at everything.  I know that isn't true, but it is what I would see.
I don't drink at all, but thinking about all of this makes me want to go out and get a bottle of wine and drink alone.
I know this has been a very depressing, negative post, but I am feeling depressed and negative, and I just wanted to get it all out there.
I will be more positive next time.